When I was a kid, one of my favorite cartoons was Clifford The Big Red Dog. Clifford was one hell of a gigantic dog. From a cutesy puppy, he grew into that size because of the little girl’s love for him. How he grew amazed me and I thought that in real life, both animals and people grow bigger when they receive more love. I didn’t know much about Science back then since I was like five years old and I wasn’t aware of the real reason and process why humans and other things grow. My innocence as a child made me very loving towards other people in order to “help” them grow just like Clifford. I jumped to the conclusion that adults are bigger than children because children give them more love, and in return, adults would help children grow by returning love as well.
It all changed when I grew older. Not bigger, but older.
Science gave me a new perspective on how the human body works. But that isn’t the point. I only realized one thing, and from that moment, I knew my childhood was over.
I was only ten years old back. I was not big yet like an adult, but I was mature for my age. Looking back at those times in my life, I don’t even know how I got past those horrible moments I dare not to tell. I’m not going to wallow in self pity and my life experiences won’t be the main point of this post.
The one thing I realized early in my young life is that love won’t make people grow, not in the Clifford The Big Red Dog way of growing through the little girl’s love, the way I thought how people grow up when I was still a child. Love won’t make people grow in a sense that it is the one thing that would complete your entire existence. Media tends to portray it that way.
Most books have a common theme of having a distraught main character and a love interest who saves them from their loneliness. I stop reading a book even if I’m halfway through when I start to read the main character’s thoughts on how this certain boy changed her life after she met him. It sends a wrong message, especially to young adults who aren’t guided in life. They keep searching and searching for that one person who will enter their life, just like how that person changed the main character’s life. The sad thing is, we’ll never find that person.
When I was in high school, I thought love worked that way. I would fall in love and he would, too and everything would fall into place like how happy endings in Disney movies happen. But in real life, everything was the exact opposite. You’d love him because of how they treats you or maybe the way he brushes his hand through his hair or maybe the way she sings in drama class but little did you know, it doesn’t happen that way. You and the person you love is not like a magnet that attracts instantly. You don’t get to have every person you like. You don’t always have the chance to love the person you love because unrequited love fucking sucks.
But here how it really goes. The love you search through other people won’t make you grow as a better person. Only you have the power to control your personal growth. Only you can give love to yourself so that you won’t have to need it all the time from someone else. Only you can give love to others and not expect any in return because your heart is a jar full of happiness you can give to yourself and to other people.
You don’t need those kisses in the rain or sappy The Notebook or Titanic type of story. All you need is yourself. All you need to become is a person who never second guesses himself when he’s about to fall because he knows he can fly. All you need to do is to break free from the person who always needs reassurance from other people because of their personal insecurities. All you need to do is love yourself.
It’s damn hard, I know. But if it’s easy, it won’t be as amazing.
Love received from other people won’t make you the best person you can be. It’s the love you are willing to give regardless of social status, gender, age, race, etc. If you haven’t found the love you bear for yourself, go on and find it. Reconnect with yourself and don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve to live life the way you want to. Your life is not a movie directed by how much money you earn, or how successful your marriage is, or how large is your house, how many pimples you have, or the numbers that appear in the weighing scale. Your life is directed by you. Don’t you ever think that you are not worthy to love and to be loved because of your unique stature in this world.
Don’t wait for a hero because you don’t need to be saved. Be your own hero.
// Weather Advisory is a segment dedicated for people who feel under the weather. //
the lone wolf never sleeps 